Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
