She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I had to cum in my sink.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
