Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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