I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize