Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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