1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
