didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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