I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
God I need to hump something, right now.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize