He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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