The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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