Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
