I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
