quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
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