using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
