He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
