I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
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