the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
