and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
