I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
No I am not eating basil off your cock
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I want a musical about memes.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
