it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
