he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
