Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
