I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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