I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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