Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Randomize