capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
