Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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