I hate your face
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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