Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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