I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Well I just put wine in my tea
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
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