and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
