i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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