i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
