Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
