I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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