beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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