Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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