The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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