She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
