i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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