i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize