I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize