YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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