So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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