I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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