I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize