Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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