just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
This is classic penis vs brain.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
