some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
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he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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