I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
