Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
