ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize