I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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