Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
