I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
