Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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