I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
