Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
