i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
