how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
