you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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