I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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