You're so nebulous sometimes
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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