Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
