Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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